DOUBLEPLUSUNGOOD  

The ‘vision’ and associated Local Development Framework documents are worse than expected (see Audi Alteram Partem, 27 October 2009) and project an Orwellian nightmare of the future in which CWaC controls everyday aspects of our lives, as well as our perceptions.  The style of the ‘vision’ is imperative or uses the second person, so that, by 2026 (for example), YOUR carbon footprint WILL be reduced and YOU WILL be adapting to climate change.  I’m probably not the only candidate for being an unperson by 2026 and, whilst I can appreciate that my carbon footprint WILL be reduced, I am unlikely to be adapting to climate change unless it is to the elevated temperature of the underworld.  Do I need to be reminded of this?  I think not.  

It is perhaps an indication of authoritarianism that CWaC have supposedly developed a strategy.  According to the Oxford English Dictionary, ‘strategy’ relates to the office or command of a general, the art of projecting and directing larger military movements and operations or, in business administration etc., a plan for successful action based on the rationality and interdependence of the moves of opposing participants.  I’m not sure that CWaC has any opponents to defeat (apart from cynics like me and, yes, I’ve looked that word up too), so I can only assume that this is pure duckspeak (as defined in the Newspeak dictionary).  Duckspeak is one of those interesting words that has two contradictory meanings:  applied to an opponent, it is abuse; applied to someone you agree with, it is praise.  I’ll leave it to YOU to decide which I mean.  

If you think I’m exaggerating, CWaC’s thinking about developing ‘workplace, school and domestic travel plans’.  I assume that will eventually include having to have our passports endorsed for any journey of more than 100km.  So much for liberty and freedom of personal choice.  

CWaCs Minitrue department has been at the figures again.  At the end of last year they predicted a population rise in the district of 16,000 between 2009 and 2026 but the latest number from the versificator is 36,500 by 2031[1].  There’s an obvious element of doublethink here which is inherent in the danger for unsubstantiated statements to pass into history and become truth.  Whilst some form of reality control is needed, it is not the ability simultaneously to know and not know which CWaC seems so good at.  One of my favourites in this respect is their sole proposal for ‘looking for opportunities to pool budgets’ (and other resources) in order to address the effects of the economic downturn.  Now I know what they mean by ‘different equality streams’ and why it is necessary to use doublethink even to understand doublethink.   

But it’s not all bad because, by 2026, there will be no fear of crime or of anti-social behaviour.  We might well still be being mugged in the street but, after a session or two with the rubber truncheons and bright lights in Miniluv, at least we won’t worry about it because the ‘gap between perception and statistics’ will have been ‘closed’ for us by the Thought Police and nothing could be worse than their attentions.  We shall also feel a sense of belonging.  That’s to the state, I assume.  

From now onwards, I’m going to try hard to be goodthinkful:  orthodoxy means not thinking; not needing to think.  Orthodoxy is unconsciousness and pure orthodoxy is the cornerstone of CWaCsoc.  

Theoghinus Nuttors, 4 January 2010.